The same here…I am that, with the only difference that I have known for 20 years, I have been to therapy, tried to deal with it, got a bit better, but at middle life it all came rushing back…I can’t get away from what Peter said, searching for ‘the protector’. I am perfectly aware that the men I am after are nothing like that, that they won’t be able to fulfil all what I would ask them to, but I continue to attach that status to one, then another. Luckily knowing that in fact they are not what I really need keeps me from getting involved with these men but the cost is a feeling extreme void and loss…..this struggle is painful. But therapy works….I will get back, hope you do too, All the best
Mycotoxins have been shown to be detrimental to sows and gilts by causing the female to retain a corpora lutea inhibiting cyclicity and causing a pseudopregnancy; as well as a constant exhibition of estrus, and infertility. Pregnant females produce litters that result in a higher number of stillborns, mummified fetuses, and abortions. Before breeding, ingesting mycotoxins mimics the action of estradiol-17β. Specifically, Zearonol is able to bind to tissues that contain estrogenic receptors that would normally bind to estrogen causing the female to exhibit constant estrus. Boars are also affected by ingestion of mycotoxins. Testis of the boar has been shown to undergo a reduction of size by 30%. This is due to a smaller than normal size of the epididymis and vesicular cords. However, testosterone production is not affected.